Top 10 Reasons to Stay Positive When You Burn the Turkey
1. No one will overeat.
2. Everyone will think it’s Cajun Blackened.
3. Salmonella won’t be a concern.
4. Uninvited guests will think twice next year.
5. Your cheese broccoli lima bean casserole will gain new found appreciation.
6. Pets won’t pester you for scraps.
7. Carving the bird will provide a good cardiovascular workout.
8. You won’t have to face three weeks of turkey sandwiches.
9. The less turkey Uncle George eats, the less likely he will walk around with his pants unbuttoned.
10. You’ll get to the desserts quicker.
A Family Thanksgiving: A Sun City resident calls his adult son in New York in early November. The man says to the son, “I hate to tell you, but we’ve got troubles in the house. Your mother and I can’t stand each other anymore, and we’re getting a divorce.
The son hangs up and immediately calls his sister in Florida and tells her the news. The sister says, “I’ll handle this.”
She calls her parents and says: “Don’t do anything till we get there! We’ll be there Wednesday night.” The parents agree.
The old man hangs up the phone and tells his wife, “Okay, they’re coming for Thanksgiving. Now what are we going to tell them for Christmas?”
And my wish to all readers: I hope your turkey is moist and fluffy – and when you’re done you’re nice and stuffy.
