Which One is You?: There are only two kinds of people in the world. There are those who wake up in the morning and say, “Good morning, Lord,” and there are those who wake up and say, “Good Lord, it’s morning.”
No Good Deed: A Sun City resident volunteers to entertain patients in hospitals. He visited one medical facility in Las Vegas and brought along his portable keyboard.
After telling jokes and singing songs at patients’ bedsides, he bid farewell and said, “I hope you get better.” One elderly gentleman replied, “I hope you get better, too.”
Ethnic Joke: Sun City neighbors and best friends Maria, an Italian, Athena, a Greek and Esther, a Jew, were at the clubhouse discussing what they would do if their doctor gave them only three months to live.
Maria answered: “I’d eat my way through Rome. Every cannelloni would be in my mouth.”
Athena said: “I’d cruise the islands and break dishes with as many 25-year-old fishermen I could find!
Esther replied: “I’d call my son, the doctor, and get a second opinion.”
Lord’s Work: My friend Chuck was in front of me coming out of church one day. The preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands. He grabbed Chuck by the hand and pulled him aside.
The Pastor said to him, “You need to join the Army of the Lord!” Chuck replied, “I’m already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor.” The Pastor questioned, “How come I don’t see you except at Christmas and Easter?”
He whispered back, “I’m in the Secret Service.”
The Best Last Will & Testament Ever Written: “Being of sound mind, I spent all the money.”
And Finally: The good thing about having a bad memory is that jokes can be funny more than once.
