Huh? The pedestrian light on the corner in my Sun City community beeps when it’s safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an “intellectually challenged” (actually an HOA Board member) lady and she asked if I knew what the beeper was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
Appalled, she responded, “What on earth are blind people doing driving?!”
Learned my lesson: Apparently RSVP’ing to a wedding invitation “Maybe next time” isn’t the correct response.
And that’s how the fight started: My wife asked me if she was the only one I had ever slept with. I replied yes, all the others were nines and tens.
Are You Ready For Some Football? In honor of Publisher Dan’s long time devotion to his New York Giants (but for other football fans, just fill in your favorite team) I ask you to consider the following:
Q: What do the NY Giants and possums have in common?
A: Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!
Q: What did the NY Giants and the late Billy Graham have in common?
A: They both can make 60,000 people stand up and yell “Jesus Christ!”
Q: What is the difference between a NY Giants’ fan (like Dan) and a baby?
A: The baby will stop whining after a while.
And my favorite: All of the Seven Dwarfs were marching through the forest one day when they fell in a deep, dark ravine. Snow White, who was following behind, peered over the edge of the steep chasm and called out to her fallen comrades.
From the depths of the dark hole a voice returned, “The New York Giants are Super Bowl contenders.” Snow White thought to herself, “Thank God! At least Dopey survived!”
And finally: Do you ever get up in the morning, look in the mirror and think “That can’t be right?
