1. Your last name stays put.
2. The garage is all yours.
3. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park or you can wear no shirt to a water park.
4. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
5. The world is your urinal since you never have to drive to another gas station restroom because one is icky.
6. People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them.
7. New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
8. One mood all the time.
9. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
10. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
11. You can open all your own jars.
12. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
13. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
14. Two pairs of shoes are more than enough.
15. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
16. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
17. You can play with toys all your life.
18. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
19. You can do your nails with a pocket knife.
20. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
The 100 Year Old Man: A TV reporter found out that a Sun City resident man just turned 100 and went to interview him. He arrived at the man’s house and was greeted by his 95 year-old wife.
They all sat down, and the reporter asked the man “Are things better.. or worse.. now that you’re 100?” The man responded “Oh…much better!”
“What do you mean?” “Well, when I go to the bathroom at night, the Lord turns on the light for me.”
His wife then said, “Don’t listen to the old fool. He’s peeing in the refrigerator again.”
And Finally: I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
