Overheard at Dillard’s: “Ooh, that’s such an adorable dress So why don’t you try it on?”
“Are you crazy? It’s sleeveless!”
As we welcome the warmer weather, I’m convinced this scene will be replayed in women’s clothing stores across America. Women of a certain age have a fixation about their arms.
Typically, it’s not the entire arm. The part between the elbow and wrist may be entirely acceptable. It’s the area between the shoulder and elbow, otherwise known as the upper arm, that’s the offending body part.
Last month I was dining with some BFFs and somehow the conversation rerouted from global warming to apparel without sleeves. There is a certain logic to this detour.
Anyway, even the most petite among us stated she was starting to feel bad about going sleeveless. OMG, I thought. Upper arms have become the new neck.
As the only person at the table who dared to go bare, seeds of doubt had been sown. Although I’ve been a dedicated triceps toner, perhaps the jiggly, Jello look had finally caught up with me.
I immediately reached for my sweater and blamed my cover-up on the excessive use of air-conditioning in Las Vegas establishments.
Needing an objective opinion about the true state of my upper arms, I turned to my husband. “Honey,” I said, “what do you think about my arms?” “Your arms? I haven’t given much thought to your arms.”
“My upper arms. Do you think they’re in good shape?” “As compared with who?”
After correcting his grammar, I recounted the dinner conversation. He made an enormous effort not to laugh, patted my shoulder, and told me I had nothing to worry about. But I quickly turned to make sure the shoulder pat had not triggered any fatty tissue disturbance.
So, as older women we hate our upper arms. But it doesn’t stop there. I bet we’re not too crazy about our knees either.
Summer’s here. That’s when we get seasonal affective disorder. Each time we wear a bathing suit, we have an opportunity to hate our entire body.
But the other day, due to my recent obsession, I happen to notice a very attractive “older” woman. She was of medium height, not particularly thin, with beautifully styled gray hair.
Her make-up was well-applied, she wore interesting earrings, and yes, she was sleeveless! Believe me, she would not be hired for a deodorant ad, but yet, there I was, admiring her appearance.
Good for you, lady, I thought. It’s a hot day. Why not?
So, down with upper arm shaming. Wise women of America, you have a right to bare arms!
