Christmas morning phone calls from friends and family started the day with cherished memories and laughter. After an early lunch, we had a dress rehearsal and Grand Opening.
The first show ran smoothly. We enjoyed the champagne and cake between shows. The stripper in the show finished her act with iridescent tassels on her boobs and butt, with the black light, which was a surprising finish to her act.
At the second show during my solo, paying tribute to Marlene Dietrich, I wore a vintage long flowing gown. There was a section of music without vocals where I slowly walked across the stage, noticing what I thought was a glass of champagne on the baby grand piano.
I decided to take a sip. My initial instinct was to spit it out; however, I quickly thought that being a lady, I couldn’t do that, so I swallowed it.
As soon as I returned to the dressing room, I shouted, “What was that nasty-tasting drink in the champagne glass?” Georgia, the stripper, gasped and then answered,” You drank that? It’s lighter fluid! You are going to die!”
Shocked, I asked, “Why is lighter fluid in a champagne glass? “ She answered, “ I finish
my act in the second show by dipping my tassels in the lighter fluid and setting them on fire.
I always get a standing ovation.”
I ran to the nearest phone and called poison information to explain my circumstances. They confirmed that if lighter fluid went into the lungs, it could be fatal.
They suggested I drink a glass of milk with mustard. The drink didn’t seem to have any effect on me; however, it tasted like hot dogs.
I left by the rear stage door and stopped to sit on a bench on the moonlit night, saying a prayer and feeling sorry for myself. I thought, I am too young to die.
The following night, with a bloated tummy, I announced in the dressing room, “Don’t anyone light a match! If I pass wind, we’ll all blow up!”
