Seniors approach intimate conversations differently, especially when it comes to communicating feelings, needs, and desires.
According to a University of Texas article, “How Men and Women Communicate Differently,” researcher Albert Mehrabian found only 7% of communication relies on actual words, with the remaining 93% stemming from tone and nonverbal cues. Despite these percentages, words matter.
Women frequently speak about personal relationships with close friends, comparing ideas, wants, and needs. Their conversations are built on camaraderie and trust.
Men usually discuss their relationships in broad terms and don’t share nitty-gritty details. It’s not that men don’t want to talk. But, in many cultures, men were taught that openly expressing their feelings was not masculine.
Boys usually don’t receive reinforcement in talking about their bodies, emotions, and relationships. Girls, on the other hand, were offered pamphlets with information about their growing bodies by feminine product companies as early as the 1920s.
This dueling dynamic can contribute to men hiding their feelings, sometimes because they are embarrassed to express what they want in intimate moments. Women may use conversation to build emotional bonds, while men may be more inclined to use conversation to solve problems.
As for nonverbal cues, women express what they feel with seductive smiles, raised eyebrows, and penetrating eye contact. Men may be more reserved, expressing themselves through body language and physical gestures.
Next time you’re discussing personal needs with a partner, use a gentle and structured approach to ease the tension. Begin the conversation with assurances in a relaxed environment. Revealing your own desires may open up your partner to share theirs as well.
It’s also OK to acknowledge the awkwardness, and if you’re feeling nervous or shy. Sometimes simply admitting that a conversation feels uncomfortable can make it easier to have.
Therapy may provide a safe setting where your partner can speak more freely. It may afford renewed affection, improve intimate satisfaction, and form a strong emotional connection.
Good communication is about more than finding the right words. It’s about patience, listening, and letting your partner know how much you care. When both people feel safe and understood, the words will come by themselves.
