For all readers who called it quits in 2025, congratulations. May your new lifestyle be long and wonderful. Here are a few things to consider:
1. Retirement is like a long weekend every day…only without the Monday hangover!
2. Retirement is the only time when you can start a new career as a full-time grandparent.
3. Retirement is wonderful. It’s doing nothing without worrying about getting caught.
4. Retirement is when you can switch from I have to into I want to without feeling guilty.
5. Retirement is the age where you trade in your briefcase for a beach case.
6. Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it to the fullest and not wake up too broke.
7. Retirement is the only time when you can stop and smell the roses, without worrying about allergies.
8. Retirement is the perfect time to become a professional napper.
9. Retirement is like a long weekend, except it lasts for the rest of your life
10. Retirement is the art of never setting an alarm clock, unless it’s for an early bird special.
11. In retirement, you have two options: travel the world or travel from the couch to the fridge.
12. In retirement, every day is Take Your Dog to Work Day… because you can!
13. Why retire and take it easy when you can retire and take it easy with a side of ice cream?
14. I asked my retired friend what he plans to do now. He replied, “Absolutely nothing, and I don’t know how I ever found the time to work!’”
15. And the best part about retirement is that you can wear your pajamas all day and nobody cares.
Super Bowl Dilemma: My buddy has two tickets to this year’s Super Bowl. They are box seats on the 50 yard line. He did not realize when he purchased them last year that it was going to be on the same day as his wedding.
If you are interested, he is looking for some one to take his place…it’s at the Community Church at 3:00 pm. The bride’s name is Sheila and she’ll be the one in the white dress.
