The Salvation Army realized that it had never received a donation from Las Vegas’ most successful lawyer. So, a volunteer paid the attorney a visit.
The volunteer said, “Our research shows that even though your annual income is over ten million dollars, you don’t give a penny to charity. Wouldn’t you like to give something back to your community?”
The lawyer replies: “First, did your research show that my mother is dying after a long, painful illness and she has huge medical bills that are beyond her ability to pay?”
Embarrassed, the volunteer mumbles, “Uh . . . no, I didn’t know that.”
“Secondly,” declared the lawyer, “did it show that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair and is unable to support his wife and children?” The stricken volunteer begins to stammer an apology but is cut off.
“And finally, did your research also show that my sister’s husband died in a dreadful car accident, leaving her penniless with a mortgage and three children? The humiliated volunteer replied, “I’m so sorry, I had no idea.”
The lawyer added, “And if I didn’t give any money to them, what makes you think I’d give any to you?”
*A couple (Greg & Nancy) were Christmas shopping at the mall on Christmas Eve and the mall was packed. Walking through the mall, Nancy noticed Greg was nowhere around. She used her cell phone to call him.
Greg, in a calm voice said: “Honey, remember the jewelry store we went into five years ago where you fell in love with that diamond necklace that we could not afford, and I told you that I would get it for you one day?”
With tears in her eyes, Nancy answered: “Yes, I remember that jewelry store.”
He said: “Well I’m in the bar right next to it.”
**And my annual wish to Santa: This year, please give me a big, fat bank account and a slim body. Once again, you mixed them up.
