The Vegas Voice thanks Ms. Kaufman for her wonderful, insightful article.
Hand written letters, a dozen roses and dining and dancing are things that remind us of dating and courting for a relationship. After speaking to my Grandmother about this topic, I realized that many people her age assume that this is still a large part of dating for college aged women.
While chivalry does somewhat still exist today, it most certainly has changed due to the increase in technology - and what is now expected while dating.
Most girls like myself entered college with the stories of their grandparents in their ears; expecting to find their soul mate within the thousands of students filling the lecture halls, dormitories, and libraries. While there are always the select, lucky few who snag the “relationship ready” men, most college aged women constantly struggle with not knowing the intentions of the guy who they think might be interested in them.
When women my grandmother’s age were in college, they were asked out on dates and courted until asked to make the relationship official. Today, it’s almost impossible to get both people to define a relationship.
“It’s so difficult to read guys’ minds. I never know if they are serious or not about me. I wish the question ‘do you want to go steady?’ was still a thing instead of it being a constant wonder if our relationship is official or not” said Elise DeLoca, a Junior Psychology major at the University of Hartford.
Nowadays, relationships can go unofficial for weeks before eventually fizzing out as if nothing between the two people ever existed.
If two people wanted to communicate with one another before the invention of cell phones, they had to make an effort to see each other, or at the very least, send hand written letters. With texting becoming a staple of everyday communication, girls expect a man to constantly stay in contact with them via texting if they are truly interested - thus putting more pressure on the men.
According to Lee Kaufman, age 82, “I would only go out with a boy if he let me know at least three days in advance. Any later than that, I knew I wasn’t his first choice.”
It is far too common now for a woman to spend all day waiting for her phone to buzz with confirmation for the plans that the man on the other end of the cell phone may never follow through with. Texting is a lot less personal and makes it a lot easier to get out of being honest.
Though it can be difficult to find, there are still some men out there who stick to the old-fashioned dating norms and I have high hopes that we can go back to that style of dating if we are taught how.